Learn to fall apart

There’s a part of us that’s intrinsically depressed, as in sunken, like a valley or a void. That’s the part of us that shows us that we aren’t the divine, and it’s through that space that we become connected to the divine without identifying with the divine. And it’s a bit tricky because the ego detects this as an emptiness and a lack and it tries to fill it up. But of course that only suffocates the soul. The void manifests as different things from different angels ; seeking the truth it can seem like doubt, or expressing the truth it can feel like guilt. Seeking love it can seem like fear, and expressing love it can feel like shame.

It’s a sacred space that can only be understood when you view yourself holistically, and not in fragmented pieces. When you understand that you were perfectly created imperfect and that being human isn’t something to be ashamed of, you can relax into that space. Although it’s a void it’s not empty. It’s full, abundant. It’s a resting place, a retreat. Yin, the withdrawal of energy. Winter. Hibernation. It’s where you can fall apart and the divine will put you back together, always. But we’re so alienated from nature and instinctual way of being that we’ve lost touch. And we just run, run, run with no respite or break. So we run ourselves into the ground, become extremely limited, break down, burn out, become cynical and paranoid. Suicidal. Homicidal.

We use weekends and the nights to rest our bodies but how can the body rest when the spirit is chronically distressed?

Getting into that cosmic rhythm requires deep listening to yourself, self-work and most importantly being humble and vulnerable with God. If you act like everything is fine then you set up a barrier to the divine that pushes away help that would be available to you. You must first sit in the doubt, the uncertainty, the fear. And trust that life and love and direction can’t be exhausted because it’s eternal, from the Eternal. The One who doesn’t tire, who doesn’t need anyone or anything.

Rediscovering Ramadaan#4


It’s never as strong as it is in Ramadaan. This need to shoot down the traits or actions in one is denying within oneself, in others. Projecting on others. Subconsciously looking down on the ‘heathens’ the ‘ramadaan tourists’. Grilling people with questions that are often communicated unspoken through glares and vague comments.

Why aren’t you reading more Qur’aan?
Why aren’t you going to taraweeh?
Why did you only pray 6 raka’aat?
Why are you watching TV?
Why are you taking pictures of your iftar when there are starving and poor people??

Sharp tones, clenched jaws, squinting eyes. You would believe that the wrong reply would have this person fly into a fight.

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Blanket forts & brain farts



“I must learn to love the fool in me–the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of my human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my Fool.”
— Theodore Isaac Rubin

100+ followers: Thank you

I never expected for my blog to be noticed, and I still don’t. Nevertheless, I’m honoured that someone would find their way to my quirky bloggity blog and like it enough to follow. I know that a hundred is a number that isn’t impressive to most, but to me it is. Heck, I felt the same way when I had 4 followers 😀 . Every time someone likes a post or follows me, I mouth a silent ‘thank you‘ (yes, I actually do that) and it really warms my heart.

Thank you. ♥


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