Jenifer Lewis : We can’t….oooh, it’s too deep y’all..

Gio: * with a reassuring shrug * we got our scuba gear.

I think I’ve finally found my greatest need in a partner : to have that willingness to dive deep and to reassure me when I’m afraid I can’t. This epiphany is profound in my journey and in my healing process because I’ve always censored, repressed, placed my feelings second to everything because I genuinely thought that my sensitive nature was a nuisance and an obstacle for others. People would either tell me I’m too sensitive or I look into things too deeply, or to stop thinking so much, or stop caring so much, or my questions would be made to seem unnecessarily eccentric and pretentious even.

I always managed myself. Not anymore. It’s terrifying but I’m not adapting myself to others anymore. Whoever will drown will drown.

The shape of your flame


Don’t ask yourself what Somalia needs. I know your parents hold you up to high expectations, and that you feel compelled to become Somalia’s Gandhi or MLK. I know that you feel confused over your true identity and that you might feel a need to solidify your somalinimo by contributing something.

What Somalia – and the world in general- needs is for you to address your inner pain that you’ve been suppressing ever since you discovered that it’s a nuisance. Don’t ask what Somalia needs. Ask yourself what sparks your passion. What makes you lose track of time. Where your mind goes when daydreaming. Somalia needs the true you, the authentic you, the vulnerable you. The you that dares to stand in her scarred soul and do so without budging for the criticism of the nay-sayers. The you that has endured heart breaks and betrayal and still looks for the good in people. The you that braves the unknown abyss within.

Our innate gifts lie buried beneath the rubble of facades and expectations. Dig into yourself and you’ll find everything you need in life. You don’t need to find your path, your career, or your legacy – you already are those things.
Passion is a force beyond our comprehension. It can’t be forged nor can it be forced. It’s an intricate part of our being, just like our height or eye colour is an intricate part of our body. It doesn’t need fixing or adjusting. It just needs to be unblocked; unblocked by your fears, and perfectionism, and what-ifs, and shoulds. You need to declutter others projections,perceptions,predictions and pessimism that have accumulated within you over the years, and give your soul space to grow a garden.

Martin Luther King Jr., and Gandhi- they didn’t envision, at the onset, that they’d achieve what they did. They just did what they were burning for and that fire of passion purified them and shaped them into their legacies. They didn’t see it coming. But it was within them, just like a tiny seedling that grows into a giant sequoia tree; let yourself grow into you, and stop forcing yourself to become what you’re not!

You have within you stories,songs,words,dreams that throughout the history of mankind have ever only existed in your mind, and should you go to the grave with those still within you then you’ve truly wasted your life. Don’t allow people to dictate what you should or shouldn’t do. You can’t influence a world you’re trying to fit into. Anyone who makes you feel weird or less-than is trying to feel better by making you feel worse. They are essentially saying: ‘You have to be everything I want you to be, and do anything I wish for or else I won’t approve of you.’
And because you crave that approval, you become an emotional slave. Self-acceptance is emancipation. Vulnerability is a raging fire. Set yourself on fire and light up the darknesses in this world.

Finding the center of strength within ourselves is in the long run the best contribution we can make to our fellow men. … One person with indigenous inner strength exercises a great calming effect on panic among people around him. This is what our society needs — not new ideas and inventions; important as these are, and not geniuses and supermen, but persons who can “be”, that is, persons who have a center of strength within themselves.

— Rollo May (Man’s Search for Himself)

A barking dog never bites


Pain aversion is a kidnapper holding you up at gunpoint. Threatening you with all kinds of bad stuff. It works because you are scared. You comply, not thinking straight because all you want is to be safe, to get that gun out of your face. But you just let it into your house, now tu casa es su casa .
Fear is : crackling,whining sound. Whispers that aren’t too far but not near enough for you to locate the source. Talks when you tell it to shut up. Shuts up when you tell it to speak up. Chases you if you run away. Runs away if you chase it.

But when you face that gun and all that the evil in the barrel entails, stillness ensues. When you are in the midst of terror, a paradoxical tranquillity encompasses you. Though the pain runs deep, it’ll be over before dawn. Though it’ll be pitch black for an intense moment, it’s just before the dawn breaks through the sky, to save you. And when the first rays of the day seek you, you’ll be free forever. Your courage is a bullet-proof vest.

A long walk to love


Love is only found in the innermost chambers of one’s being. It’s the ability to give of your authentic self.
The path to true love  is often strewn with fear and shame…And the only way to traverse it is through courage and vulnerability; courage to face the fears and vulnerability to expose shame.

Love is to engage from one’s heart, so how can you do that if you are disengaged from your own self?

Speak your heart

“Speak your heart. If they don’t understand, the message was never meant for them anyway.”
Yasmin Mogahed


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