Inthrough you

I had a dream, many years ago, in which I was back at my old school (Islamic) in between a group of 3 religious sisters wearing niqaab, and 4 brothers wearing khamiis. Before us, at a distance was a block of rocky hills that were quite steep. My eye caught something, someone, camouflaged very well in the middle of the rocks, with its side facing us. I realized it was Iblees. Just as I was about to raise alarm, he broke free from the camouflage, swiveled forward and started breaking off chunks of the hills to throw at us. I told the groups to start running but to keep close to me. I was reading Qur’aan, perhaps aayatul kursi, and it created a protective field of light around us as we ran. For some reason, the field was only emanating from me.

I remember this dream as I had a realization that evil is stagnant and exerts its influence through being hidden and not alerting people to its true source. Awareness can’t be contained and power is static. That’s why manipulation and mind control are tools used by these forces. They induce trauma to shut the person down so that they can’t move in a cohesive manner. They trigger the amygdala, which is the offswitch of the human brain because it hijacks the rest of the brain and in particular, the frontal lobe which houses impulse control, future planning (executive functions) sequencing and comparing, attention, speech, memory formation, analyzing feelings of others.

I speculate that the frontal lobe is the masculine energy and the amygdala (arousal, memory, hormone secretion, emotional response) is the feminine. When the feminine is triggered, the masculine is hijacked and made inept.

Perhaps the two groups represented the masculine and feminine energies of my psyche and that through balancing them and leading them, the demonic attacks would be harmless.

Intellectualism is deeply impersonal

Derealization is the worst mental pain that can happen to a human. It’s the loss of the language of emotions and sensations that alienates you from the outside world, rendering your inside world meaningless and marooned. It’s like losing your ability to make sound even though you’re talking. Everything is soaked in shades of metallic grey and the air tastes like cold corrosion. It feels like the energy and emotions of others have physical weight and exerts pressure on you from all sides but you can’t take anything in so it just piles up until you feel like you’re in a deadly vortex. You’re divorced from all context and identity and yet you’re confined. It’s deeply paradoxical with no meaning at the core to differentiate.

I don’t want to appeal to anyone

I realize I’m the antithesis of inspirational. I understand why many don’t vibe or connect with me. Took me a while to figure out why. Now I don’t go out of my way to disperse the fog or convince people that there is a world outside Plato’s cave. I don’t want to be a shock to the system, a cold chill, a jump scare. I can only be grounded in my reality and be aligned with it fully even if that entails being a recluse. I’m not isolated, I’m just back at the place where everyone has escaped for pies in the skies. I’m in the place I started out in existence: the mundane. And when I don’t try to make it what it’s not, I can see the sky peppered with stars and the streets they form. I can observe and absorb the hidden beauty. That’s what the divine is. Hidden beauty. Inconspicuous yet so naturally obvious. Like something that you had no idea you needed.

Time as a medium instead of a commodity: a concept

Africa is the magnetic center of this planet, much like the heart and the moon. Even time is different – it’s polychronic. They don’t have the delineations we have here – it’s like weekdays, weekends, holidays, work and home is all in a quantum field of fluidity. That also means there are weaker boundaries (overfamiliarity, codependency). In ways, the Western colonizers were the narcissistic prince charming that swept us off the ground with love bombing and making us see our potential for the first time ever…

You mean we can use the resources and not be in need of the community?


Oh no baby what is you doooin…

This work isn’t in the books or for the books

The no.1 thing Africa needs isn’t resources, isn’t education, isn’t political structure, isn’t infrastructure. It’s clarity.

We need clarity to be able to see what’s ours and not doubt it. We need to be able to see beyond the webs of deception that have been woven around and around and made us collapse in shameful defeat. We need to see that it’s not our task to remove the webs nor is it our task to make the recovery look good. We need the clarity to disconnect from the worst timeline of exasperation that opened us up for exploitation.

And understand that the abundance on the planet hinges on us clearing the energetic grids. The strongholds of the West which represents an overactive mind has its roots in our relinquishing what we know simply because it’s not as concrete or intellectual to be validated by the West. This isn’t about white v black. It never was. That’s just another idiotic delineation by a limited mind wanting to seek safety. It was always about the higher good which is the universal good. And we have those who oppose it amongst our kinfolk just as there are those who oppose it in the West. As long as we don’t realize the true baseline and the original crack, we’ll just be scrambling to divide what’s left into more precise pieces.

The powerful thing is, there is a timeline of abundance and holism active in Africa, much like Wakanda. It’s something we access, not create. And we can only access that by letting go of what seems so inevitable simply because it’s been around for so long. We can’t fathom the continent without violence and corruption because we’ve disconnected from the vibrancy that is the heart of this planet. We’ve forgotten our bearings completely and that is the sin we need to be redeemed of.

Feel in between the lines

People who feel suicidal or end up committing suicide are people who don’t feel that to live is safe. They feel an inordinate amount because of what those with robust egos have discarded or pushed away from their awareness to retain control and their worldview. And because others aren’t engaged in the bigger reality that unites us all, they can’t connect with them – these canaries in the coalmine-in the trenches to at least keep them company as they g(r)o(w) through encountering new facets of reality.

There’s no mental acknowledgement of the process of spiritual alchemy that transforms the individual through uniting the opposites that clash. There’s no interstitial space afforded those initiates called to go deeper into the spiritual abyss on behalf of humanity.

It’s like seeing the faint outline of raised waves on the horizon, and going towards it to explore what this anomaly is signaling to then warn the others of the inevitability.

Because what’s causing people to feel so suffocated that they opt to go against every natural desire to live is a symptom that affects us all collectively, whether we tune it out or not. And it’ll steadily eat away at the fabric that holds us together and keeps us sane until it reaches monstrous proportions that we no longer can avoid. We realize what the waves were when the tsunami has already crossed the shore.


The mind projects but can’t receive. We receive through feelings. Feelings are the detection of change in one’s energetic field and the more sensitive one is the faster the change is perceived. Feelings inform you of how the change relates to you and what it could entail. It’s like sonar.

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