We were created for the tension, the struggle of knowing what’s true, the pain that knocks at ungodly hours, the loss that reminds us of what can never be lost, the oscillating between going apeshit and repentance.
We don’t expect to inhale once and be good for life. We don’t eat a lifetime’s worth of food in one sitting. We shower, get funky, shower again. We sleep, wake up, become sleepy again. Fighting the oscillation is to fight the very rhythm we depend on. Don’t berate yourself for being what God made you to be, just because of lies we’re fed to make us crave for illusions to cover us.